KEY LIME PIE

                                                  Voyeur telescopes

                                                  have excellent vision

                                                  but can't see a small

planet beyond Pluto

                                                  where an all-nite diner

                                                  serves outrageous key

                                                  lime pie.  Clara

                                                  brings a slice with piping

                                                  hot coffee.  Curmudgeons

                                                  yawp about how Andromeda

                                                  used to show better films,

                                                  but things today, well,

                                                  what can you do?  The door

                                                  opens to a place that makes

                                                  Antarctica feel like Venus

Di Milo. Not

                                                  many young people stay.  They

                                                  head for some Vegas

                                                  asteroid a few million miles

                                                  away.  Clara misses

                                                  her daughter Terri who spins

                                                  a roulette wheel and dances

                                                  in a cage of solar wind.

                                                  Sometimes, on slow nights,

                                                  Clara puts her head in her hands

                                                  and cries over a fresh slice,

her hair a blooming lime

orchard.  Blossoms fall

under her tongue.

                                                  She returns to work, flirts

                                                  with a cowboy comet

                                                  waving shyly at the window.

My comments

Good.  Nice line breaks, topical, emotional, good visuals.